From Islam to Unitarian Universalism

I found a former Muslim who is also a Unitarian, check out her story on her blog, link above. Glad to know I'm not the only one. She also wrote an Article for uuworld.org about her spiritual journey. A.

A/C Working!

Finally I have a/c again, after the maintenance man not showing up yesterday to fix it. They got a a/c company to come look at it. Of course now it's supposed to cool off the rest of this week. But at least it will be working when it gets hot again. A.

A/C not working!

Well 2nd day of my a/c not working. The maintenance guy was supposed to come today (he called & woke me up at 8 am to tell me he would be here today) but he stood me up. When I finally got ahold of the manager (at home on Memorial Day but she didn't seem to mind) she said he told her at noon he didn't think he could fix it and they needed to get someone who fixes a/c to do it. And of course neither of them bothered to call me to tell me he wouldn't be showing up! It's been almost 90 here in Michigan, and 85 or 86 in my apartment. He keeps doing that, promising to come and do stuff but taking days or weeks or never doing it. I'm not going to fry in my apartment in 90 degree weather with 3 kids. He could at least have brought me some fans. I am running the a/c because some air is coming out (and the bathroom is quite cool lol), I shudder to think how hot it would be without it on at all. The gas bill is still going to come, whether it's working right or not. It better cool off soon!

My thoughts on Islam

I became Muslim in 1992, after reading about it for over a year. After being married to several Muslim men and living in a Muslim country (Jordan), I have come to realize that this isn't something I want in my life or that I want to raise my kids in.

On paper Islam, like many things (communism for example), sounds great. One of the things I liked about it when I was reading about was the rights of women in Islam. They have their own identity; keep their own family name when they get married, keep any money they earn, inherit, etc; can choose who to marry and can initiate a divorce, and on and on.

However, in practice I have realized that men are the ones controlling the rights the women get. Most mosques you go to in the US won't give a Muslim women an Islamic divorce, even if the guy abandoned her or is a wife-beater, until they talk to him and he agrees. Many Muslims believe a woman has to ask her husband's permission to go out of the house. That is not in the Quran at all. They treat women like they are children and too stupid to do anything themselves. In most Muslim countries the woman can't get a divorce if the guy doesn't want one, even if he has another wife. In Egypt if the guy has another wife you can get one, thanks to Jihan's law. Also in Egypt the woman CAN get divorce, but she has to give up all rights to support.

In Islam the woman is respected for bearing the children and taking care of them. But in reality, women are the ones doing all the work with no recognition by the men, and if they divorce the man gets the kids. He's not going to be the one taking care of them. They will be stuck with his mom or sister, or his wife, the latter usually doesn't treat them as her own (blood is thicker than water kind of thing).

So in reality things are not what they seem to be. Yes Islam gave women rights in the 8th century that were unheard of until the late 19th century in many "civilized" countries. But...now they are stuck in the 8th century as far as the rights the women actually HAVE. I don't want to live that way, or my daughter to be raised thinking she is not as good as a boy or man just because she is female. She shouldn't be ruled over by men. I want her to grow up to be independent and be her own person and make her own decisions. That is how I was raised. Yes I choose to be in Islam, but I have chosen to leave it. They have the right to choose what they want for their lives.

The Quran also has some things that are disturbing to me, such as the verse that says you can beat your wife (Quran 4:34). No matter what Muslim apologists say, that is what it says. They usually put (lightly) in there but that's not what the verse says, that is added in the translation to placate non-muslims. Muslims try to counter that in many ways, but it's there in black and white. Do I want to be in a religion that says that, or have my daughter be married to someone who may think he can hit her if he thinks she is disobeying him?

Muhammed's hadith (sayings and doings of the prophet) also said that he Prophet said, "Isn't the witness of a women equal to half that of a man?" The women said "yes". He said "This is because of the deficiency of the women's mind." (Sahih al-Bukhari, volume 3, hadith 826). Well sorry but women are as smart as and in many cases smarter than men! No way I want my daughter growing up believing that, or marrying someone who believes that. When I became Muslim I think I was looking for a community where I could belong, and just looked past things like this or accepted things that Muslims say to "explain this" like that men and women have different roles in life and society, separate but equal kind of thing. NOT! Men and women are different physically and mentally, but that doesn't mean that men are smarter than women or they should be able to tell them what to do or what not to do like they are children.

There are other things that bother me about Islam as well. One is that it is very PC to say that Islam is not a violent religion. But in reality there is a lot of violence in the Quran. The religion was spread by the sword by Muhammad and later generations. It didn't spread slowly by Muslims going to the countries and living there, they took over the countries, killed people, took slaves.

There is a lot of violence in Muslim and Western countries over the infamous cartoons. I don't like them, but being raised in a country based on free speech, I can't take away someone's right to their free speech. Here in the US we make fun of everybody: in cartoons in the newspaper, stand-up comics, late night talk shows. You can make fun of the President, politicians, practically anyone and everyone are targets at one time or another, including religions. Even though I don't like them, and I don't think the newspaper should have printed something that can be viewed as racist, why do they have to be violent about it? There's no excuse for that. To me it's just another example of Muslims being violent and making excuses for it.

Now at their father's house it is a TOTALLY different story! He doesn't think they have a choice. He married a young woman from Egypt about 4 years ago, and they are very "cultural" at his house. They tell my daughter that she will go to hell if she wears skorts or doesn't wear a scarf. He told my son that you can't marry a non-Muslim or you go to hell, but HELLO, did he forget? HE was married to a non-Muslim! What a hypocrite! When my son brought up that little "forgotten" fact he didn't answer of course. Do as I say not as I do! He tells them not to lie, but he lies in court under oath.

Everything here is my own opinion. If you don't like my view, you are certainly entitled to your own opinion and your own blog. This is my view on a religion I was involved in for 12 years, and that I choose to leave. If it's right for someone else, then more power to them, but it's not right for me, and I will not raise my children in it.

A.

Another Saturday!

Ugg it's another Saturday. My older 2 kids stayed at our neighbor's house for the night, but they came back over this morning cause the neighbor is sleeping in. I was trying to sleep in but my dad woke me up at 8 am. Oh well! I usually can't sleep past 6 am, so I'm glad I could sleep in a bit.

I can't believe it's almost June. School gets out soon, then I'll have all the kids bugging me! I don't know if their father is going to come get them for the summer (my older 2). There's absolutely no communication on his side, and he pays child support weeks late. I really hate dealing with him when he's like this. He doesn't pick up the phone when his kids or I call. He doesn't pick up the phone when his brother calls either, cause he knows he's going to tell him to pay his child support. He doesn't like it when anyone tells him what to do, obviously. I wish NJ would take things more seriously when child support is due. It's amazing how quickly someone can come up with money when they're in jail! I don't want him in jail, but it's a good incentive to pay child support. I want him to support his 2 older children just like he's supporting his 2 younger children who are living with him. He can just forget about his older 2 when he wants to. Men! He has 2 houses (one he's living in), 2 or 3 cars, one of which is a 8-seater Toyota Sienna SUV, you can bet that's expensive. I don't even have a car! Ok, enough with the ex.

My youngest, Ibi (short for Ibrahim). is watching Antz. He's going to be 3 next month, boy time flies! He likes watching movies. I got him something at a garage sale for his birthday, it's a little kitchen play set. Not one of those huge kitchen things, a smaller one. He was playing with it at the garage sale, so I bought it and snuck it in the car and house so he didn't know I got it. When they're little you can fool them easily. I also want to get him a tricycle. His dad has never seen him, but more on him another time.

Last weekend I went to garage sale with my neighbor and got some clothes for my son and daughter, and a few things for decorating. I need to make our place look lived in. It's small but decent. I love garage sales! Next month they have a city-wide one, so there will be garage sales all over the place. I can't really get big stuff at garage sales, my neighbor's car isn't very big. I did get a bookcase at one, and she stuffed it in her trunk with the back seat down.

A.

Kids Making Movies

My dad sent me a digital camera that also makes movies. The kids were having fun with it today, and they made a cute little Tide Commercial.

Click link above to see their movie. I'll add more when they make them.

Introduction

About me...if you don't know me, I'm a single mom living with 3 kids in Michigan. I'm originally from Kansas. I grew up there and moved to Nebraska when I started high school. I moved back there a few years later, then moved to NJ in 1993. I have also lived in a couple other states: South Dakota, New York (not in the city!), New Jersey, and of course Michigan. I moved to Michigan in Nov. 2005, but also lived here for a year in 1995/1996. I lived overseas for a year and a half (1999-2000), in Amman, Jordan.

I grew up in the Seventh-day Adventist Church, but stopped going after high school (yep I went to the church schools too). In fact all my family kinda drifted away.

In 1992 I became Muslim, and practiced until about 2004, though I still considered myself Muslim till late 2005. More on my thoughts on Islam later. I was married to several Muslim men, who really weren't practicing much. I'm still legally married, though I haven't seen him in 3 1/2 years. I've lived here 6 months as of last week, so I can file for divorce. I pretty much consider myself Unitarian, and when I have a car I want to go to a Unitarian church.

I have 4 children, 3 of which are living with me. My oldest lives, who will be 17 in August, lives with her dad in the Midwest. She went to live with him when she was 6. My 3 younger kids are living with me: my son Mustafa age 11 finishing up 6th grade, my daughter Nabilah who will be 10 in June, she's in 3rd grade, and my son Ibrahim (nickname: Ibi) who will be 3 in June too, boy how time flies!

Mustafa and Nabilah'ss father is originally from Egypt and living in NJ. He is not very good at keeping in touch with them or paying child support. He's 6 weeks late now and not answering my phone calls. My youngest's father is Palestinian and went back to Jordan when I was pregnant. He came back several times for job interviews but never saw Ibi. He never supported his son.

I moved to Michigan from NJ in Nov. 2005 because I have family here and the cost of living is MUCH less than in NJ. Now I live about 20 minutes from family. Which is kinda good cause sometimes we don't get along lol. She's my older very bossy sister!

My Hobbies: Genealogy, Reading, Cats, Graphic Design using Paint Shop Pro, and more reading!

OK well I'll write more on my thoughts later. This is just an introduction to my life and times.